3 to 4 inches of awesomeness

24 Jun

at the bar he keeps asking to see my feet.  i have a thing about feet, he tells me.  i need to make sure you have cute feet.  i’m drunk enough to let this slide, but i won’t show him my feet.  in the cab on the way to my place, he grabs my leg and pulls it across his lap and knocks off my ballet flat.   mmm, he says.  there’s something of yours i’d like to know about as well, i say coyly.  he grips my thigh.  i got 3 to 4 inches of awesomeness coming your way, baby.  i laugh at this joke.  at my place i only have a Trojan magnum condom.  that’s never going to fit me, he says as he unbuttons his jeans.  i laugh again at his small penis joke.  this guy is funny!  turns out, he’s not joking and i can hear the condom crinkling like a plastic bag as we do it, even with him holding it on with his hand the entire time.

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