Hip Replacement

27 Jun
I once went on a date with a television writer I met at a party. We decided to meet near a certain subway stop and then get dinner somewhere nearby. As we walked away from the subway, we started talking about where to eat. “I could walk for awhile!” I said. “Just wander until we find something that looks good.” He gave me a slightly bashful look. “I can’t really walk,” he said. Being that he wrote for a comedy show, I assumed he was joking, and laughed. “No, I actually really can’t walk,” he said. “I…I had hip surgery recently.””Like, a hip replacement?” I asked. He was under 30, so I started to wonder if his parents were cousins, or otherwise related in an inbred way (was he his mother’s son AND her brother? #Chinatown). No, he explained (thank god), he had torn some kind of ligament or something. Oh, a sports injury? Nope. An injury sustained…during sex. He had basically pulled out his hip while trying out some kind of CRAZY position in bed (I didn’t ask for specifics; it was our first date!). He had recently gotten off crutches but he had to take it easy for a few more months.We walked to a restaurant one block away, and we did not go on a second date. But mostly cause he was a bad kisser.


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