Shuffleboard

29 Jun

I was at a bar with two friends, one a lesbian and one with a boyfriend.  I told them that I thought this group of guys by us was cute so the friend with the boyfriend took it upon herself to walk up to this group, points at me and says, “Why aren’t any of you guys hitting on my friend?”  They sort of stare at her in shock, and then slowly give excuses.  Two have girlfriends at home.  One says, “I’m gay!” and the one that’s left sort of looks around and doesn’t know what to say.  Finally he starts talking to me and we engage in a highly competitive game of shuffleboard.  I end up having a lot of fun with him and even though he’s sort of short, I think he’s pretty hot and I like his tattoos and he has a cool job.  When we are all leaving, it’s prime time for him to ask for my number.  He beats around the bush for so long that I can hardly stand it and try to leave.  He finally blurts out that he can’t imagine a girl like me wanting to date someone as short and fat as him.  He is short but he is not fat and I’m so confused by his insecure blackout.  He asks me if I want him to walk me home and I tell him that I don’t need him to but he can if he wants.  He compromises and says he’ll walk me half way (???) and once we get to the half way mark he finally grows some balls and kisses me.  We exchange numbers and agree to have a shuffleboard rematch.  Somehow his insecurity followed him though and instead of just asking me to have a drink with him, his texts became exclusively about shuffleboard.  A sampling of the exchange over 2 months:

1/4/2011 Him: Let’s have a rematch later this week…I’m sure you can use the practice..

Me: Yeah, let me know when

1/12/2011 Him: Just logged in a few hours of shuffle board practice

2/3/2011 *We run into each other and I text him because he says he lost my number

Him: Glad we ran into each other…I owe you a rematch

2/15/2011 Him: Lady Jays is starting a shuffle board league starting feb 20th fyi

Me: Cool. What are you getting at?

2/16/2011 Him: We need to have an official competition.  And maybe a practice round.

Me: Ha yeah I know, pretty sure I challenged you to just that a month ago.

Him: I’m ready for a challenge anytime.

*Three weeks later

2/28/2011 Him: Any interest in shuffleboard this week?

 

 

 

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