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I’m “all a flush”

7 Sep

Another OkCupid Casanova…

subject: Important Message

Congratulations, you came up in okCupid!!!!!! I know right, you’ve been waiting for it! You can call everyone and let him or her know. Tell your friends about it. You’ll have to girl talk for at least five hours tomorrow about it. I mean, what are the chances?!?

Ok, so I like to laugh and make everything into a sarcastic joke. It happens, right?
Now. I could write a resume. Tell you all about me. Like I am applying for the position of the guy you are going to hang out with on Friday, or whatever. But that would be boring and dull. I might fall asleep doing that.

Wait, I could list out interrogation questions! Ask you things like what you do for fun? Or maybe something really deep… something like, “So where are you from?” You’d swoon, realizing that I care about where you are from and thus ‘where you’re coming from’. You’d get “all a flush” at my wit, right?

Oh, I know, I could just delete all of this and type “Hey wazzup? Saw your profile. Ur cute! Hit me back and we can chat” That would probably work best. I mean that’s what everyone does right? So it MUST work! Shouldn’t it?

How about instead, I do this. I am intrigued by your profile, and think it could be worthwhile to find out more about you. You know, talk, and answer those age-old questions, like:

“Is she a total basket case in hiding?”
“Will I fall asleep sitting next to her when we hang out?”
And don’t forget…”Is she just a guy with fake pictures, pretending to be a girl?!?!?”

So lets interact! Sound good? Glad to hear it!
Lets get creative…

WE’RE GOING ON A ROADTRIP!!!!
So where are we going and why?

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wait. what?

24 Jun
5 okcupid messages we didn’t respond to.  we know you have some–send them our way!
1. I really liked your profile, your description.  It’s refreshing.
You look fun and intelligent.  AND you are cute! 🙂
I’m looking for wild sex!
Arthur
2. hello,
wanna grab a coffie this week???
just messaging random, no need to respond
3. you are way out of my league but maybe we can be besties?! im great at errands and stuff. wait nevermind how embarassingg.
4. Now my roommate wants a beagle and I think he might actually get one.
I’m not a ‘dog person’ but I think it’d be neat?
5. Hey don’t you just wish that the guys who contact you would grow some balls and stop being around the bush and tell you what the want from you..ie short term, long term, penpals etc.  I’ll tell you straight up.  I don’t think we would make a good long term match.  Don’t get me wrong I find you very attractive, but now I’m just looking for short term casual friends with benefits.  I think we can cause a lot of trouble together.  I love to be honest and have intellectual conversations about a variety of topics.  If that is something that you will consider check out my profile.  If not… No worries.